» 7 Love Songs to Celebrate the Summer Season

Ready to ring in the summer the right way? Grab a lawn chair, a cold drink and soak up the season with these 7 summertime songs.

It’s summer, and it’s time to crank up the AC…and the tunes! Here are seven love songs to get you in the mood for summer, for finding that special guy or gal, or simply for enjoying a long walk on the beach.

1. Summer Nights - John Travolta, Olivia Newton-John, and the cast from Grease

This ode to summer love is a happy, bubbly sing-along that spreads a triple-fudge frosting of nostalgia on the cake of your memories—one for the fifties style it emulates, two for the seventies soundtrack that produced the song, and three for all the times you danced to this in your high school gymnasium!

2. Summer Love - Justin Timberlake

This song about a man who “can’t wait to fall in love” with his date claims that the emotions he’s feeling and she’s feeling “just can’t be summer love.” Of course, Timberlake’s promise of permanence is disproved at every turn by the sexy groove of the song, by the multiple women in the song’s video, and by the horrendously vapid words of devotion in the lyrics. Still, this song has the beat, vocal beauty, and flickering promise of the summer sun itself—and what could be more appropriate for holiday summering than standing in the shallows?

3. Sleepwalk - Santo & Johnny

This might seem like a strange inclusion, since it’s an instrumental song with no mention of summer in the title. But there’s magic and mystery from this song, performed by a couple of New York kids with a love for Hawaiian guitar, that’s particularly summery. Anyone who’s experienced young love in the sweaty summertime knows that there’s a magic in the mugginess, and this song brings it out faster than a banana cream pie brings out the ants.

4. Summer Madness - Kool & the Gang

Here we have another instrumental, this time a funky, slow jam that was later sampled by DJ Jazzy Jeff & the Fresh Prince for their hit “Summertime.” This ode to sexy synthesizers has a Barry White vibe, with a solid bass groove that’s perfect for those hot, hot nights.

5. Sealed With a Kiss - Bobby Vinton

This classic love song evokes a time when long-distance calls were priced out of practical range, and texts and e-mails were just a twinkle in technology’s eye. So the couple in this song was more than able to perpetuate the fatuity of their temporary high school love in this melodramatic ode to staying faithful through a whole three months of hot temptation. The pain of this song is familiar to anyone whose parents’ vacation plans squashed their hopes to get to second base with the hottest girl or guy in the tenth grade.

6. Walking on Sunshine - Katrina & the Waves

This song may be the most danceable, bubbly song in history, a living testament to the happiness and joy and excitement that comes when a casual fling turns into devotion. Sure, it’s a bit cheesy and a bit eighties, but fewer songs are better at getting you pumped when you’ve got the top down and the stereo up and you’re cruising to the beach.

7. Time of the Season - The Zombies

We can’t have an article about summer love without including something written in the Summer of Love, and this refreshing Zombies hit is the pinnacle of coolness on a hot summer day. We don’t know if we totally trust the narrator of this song (“What’s your name? Who’s your daddy? Is he rich like me?!?”), but we don’t question his devotion to making this a time and a season for loving. And what season lends itself better to love than the hot months of summer?

These are just some of the many great summer love songs. We’ve left out tunes by the Beach Boys, the Brady Bunch, and a whole lot of other sunshine favorites.

» The Do's and Don'ts of Dealing with Your Ex

A breakup can leave you feeling vulnerable, lonely and otherwise not thinking straight. Here's how to handle the heartbreak, unexpected run-ins and the urge to seek revenge.

Everyone knows breaking up is hard to do. But staying in contact with your ex following a breakup? That's where things get really tricky. By remaining in each other's lives, you run the risk of a post-breakup rendezvous, holding onto feelings for your ex, and in general delaying your ability to heal and move on quickly (and without additional heartache). The following are some tips to help you avoid a post-breakup backslide into your ex's arms, and instead ease you into your happily ever after future:

Create new Boundaries

Your best defense after a breakup? Immediately create new boundaries with your ex. That means no phone calls, no e-mails, no texting, and definitely no late-night visits. Your ex is now your ex. That means it's time to “ex-tricate” him or her from your life.

What if you can't completely cut off contact because you have children together, run a business together, or work together? Your recovery is a little bit more challenging. But it's not impossible. You just have to create special new boundaries, only dealing with and talking to your ex when absolutely necessary about your common interests, i.e., the children, business, work. If your ex wants to know how you're handling the breakup? Shut him or her down. If he's curious whether you're dating again? Tell them it's none of their business. The same is true for you. Don't pry into your ex's post-breakup recovery. Just as you deserve to heal and move on, so does your ex. Give your ex the space and time to do so.

Avoid Being Each Other’s Crutch

You loved, you lost, you're now in mourning. A word of warning when you're in post-breakup mourning: DO NOT seek comfort in the arms of your ex. That's a huge recovery no-no! Instead, recruit a support system from your inner circle of friends, preferably friends who have your best interests at heart and won't report back to your ex on your progress and setbacks. This is actually one of the single most important steps you can follow during your breakup recovery. To heal and move on, you're going to need help. That help should NOT come in the form of your ex. The same is true for you. If your ex calls, emails, texts, or stops by seeking comfort for his broken heart? Don't open your arms. Instead, kindly but firmly let him know that you are no longer his go-to support system. Then shut the door on any and all opportunities to help each other heal following the breakup.

No Online Ex-Bashing

After a breakup, it's only natural to feel some residual anger, resentment, bitterness, etc. And in the era of social networking sites and YouTube, it's all too easy to go online and spew in front of millions of readers/viewers. Don't do it! By going online and bashing your ex on your blog, via video diary, or to everyone in your social network, you are inviting bad breakup karma into your life. And you know what they say—what comes around goes around. When it comes around? Ouch!

Handle the Dreaded Run-in with Class

While it would be fabulous if your ex could be automatically ejected from the planet following the breakup, that technology has yet to be invented. And depending on the size of the city you live in, a post-breakup run-in with your ex is not only possible, it's probable. Rather than become a shut-in out of fear of your ex encounter, embrace the possibility and plan for it. First, imagine the absolute worst case scenario: You haven't showered in days, your clothes are wrinkled and smelly, your hair is a mess, and you happen to run into your ex on a date with the most gorgeous girl you've ever seen. In fact, they're engaged, as evidenced by the huge shiny rock on her left hand. Can you see it in your mind? Pretty painful, right?

Chances are that's not going to happen. In fact, your ex encounter will probably be a lot less dramatic than this scenario. However, the pain may still be there. In bumping into your ex, you may be reminded of what you loved about him or her. It may even reignite those familiar feelings of love, lust, or just plain loneliness. Do not use the run-in as an excuse to reconnect. What's done is done. Your ex is now your ex. Bumping into him does not mean that the two of you are meant to be together. Instead, summon that inner strength, smile politely, and extricate yourself from the situation as soon as is possible without being rude.

Follow the Six-Month Rule

After a breakup, the best rule of thumb is to avoid all contact with your ex for at least six months. Think about what you can do in six months—train for a marathon, plan and take a well-deserved vacation, buy property, change jobs, heal and move on. In giving yourself a six-month cushion, you greatly increase your chances of getting over your ex. In the throes of post-breakup angst, you may not like the sound of that. Like it or not, it's what's best for you. Rather than fight what you know is right for you, give yourself permission to put the six-month rule into practice.

If you adhere to these guidelines, your post-breakup recovery will be that much easier. In letting go of your ex, you give yourself permission to heal, move on, and eventually find your very own happily ever after. Good luck and happy healing!

» 4 Signs You're a Control Freak

If everything is your way or the highway, you're probably a control freak. Controlling your controlling ways may be the key to finding a significant other.

Control freak. Two little words with ugly implications. If anyone’s ever labeled you a control freak, you know just how uncomfortable the label feels. The truth is, when it comes to your love life, being a control freak can be a huge handicap. It can even sabotage your chances of relationship success.

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In order to improve your odds of happily ever after, you may first need to let go of your controlling ways. The following are four signs that you might be a control freak. If you recognize yourself in any of the signs, follow the advice below to break free of your controlling nature.

Sign #1: It’s Your Way or the Highway

You might be a control freak if being right is more important to you than being fair. This is especially true in relationships. Take a look at past romantic partnerships and ask yourself how you handled misunderstandings, arguments, and other confrontational communication. Did you insist on being right? Was being right more important than seeing the other person’s side of the story? If so, you just might have control issues. Left unchecked, these issues can lead to being labeled a control freak. If this scenario sounds familiar, you owe it to yourself and your future relationship partner to let go of your incessant need to be right and instead focus on being fair. The next time the urge to be right rears its ugly head, take a deep breath, remind yourself that being right is not more important than having a healthy relationship, and acknowledge the other person’s point of view.

Sign #2: You Insist on a Rigid Schedule

In life and on dates, do you prefer to stick to events you can schedule on your calendar? If it’s not something you can squeeze in between work, Pilates class, and picking up your dry cleaning, then you just don’t have time for it. Sound familiar? This is another sign that you may be a control freak. The truth is, falling in love cannot be scheduled. You never know when or where you’ll meet someone special, how they’ll rock your world, and/or what it is about them that makes your heart race. That’s the beauty of falling in love. It’s unpredictable, unplanned, and impossible to schedule. In order to be open to real and lasting love, you first need to close your calendar, open your mind, and welcome the unexpected.

Sign #3: You Believe Spontaneity Is a Four-Letter Word

Just as you may have a tendency to over-schedule your life, you may also consider spontaneity a bad thing. However, the art of surprise adds spice to your life, especially your love life. That’s what makes love so exciting! If in past relationships you have insisted on always having a plan, now’s the time to let go of your controlling ways and embrace spontaneity. On dates, go with the flow. Let the other person plan some of your activities. Be willing to try new things, even if you’re not good at them. Give yourself permission to make a fool of yourself. You might actually have fun letting your hair down. Plus, by being spontaneous, you let your date see the real you, not a buttoned-up, controlled version of yourself.

Sign #4: You Frequently Judge Other People’s Behavior

If you frequently judge other people’s behavior in relationships, you may have control issues. The danger of judging what potential partners do and say based on your own unrealistic expectations is that you will most likely find yourself in unsatisfying relationships. As a result, you buy into the belief that nobody’s good enough for you. In actuality, your controlling nature is sabotaging your chances of relationship success. If this scenario sounds familiar, you owe it to yourself to turn down that judgmental voice in your head, get to know your date(s) for who they really are, and understand that nobody—including yourself—is perfect. Plus, when you let go of your need to judge others, you in turn stop judging yourself. The result? A more fulfilling dating future. Love that!

If any of the above signs made you stop and think that you just might have control issues, don’t despair. Now that you’ve acknowledged your control freak tendencies, you are free to let go. By loosening your grip on your own relationship expectations you in turn become more open to real and lasting love. When in doubt, remember this: love is not something you can schedule, predict, or plan for. That’s what makes it so incredibly special and exciting. When you embrace the unknown, you welcome the possibility of your very own happily ever after, and that’s worth losing a little control over.

» Are You Repeating Your Parents' Mistakes?

Oftentimes we mirror the relationship behavior we saw growing up. In order to achieve relationship success you may first need to acknowledge the role your parents' relationship plays in your life. Here's how.

Be honest—do you ever blame your past relationship failures on your parents? Do their relationship issues haunt your relationship reality? Oftentimes we mirror the relationship behavior we saw growing up. If our parents’ relationship was healthy, that’s a good thing. However, if we view our parents’ relationship as dysfunctional, we may experience dating disasters without recognizing the parallels.

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In order to achieve relationship success, you may first need to acknowledge the role your parents’ relationship plays in your life. If you’ve been negatively influenced, you will need to break free of any familial dysfunction, recreate your love vocabulary, and release any judgment you have toward your parents and/or yourself. If you’re ready to create a more satisfying relationship future, the following four tips should help:

Tip #1: Identify the Mistakes

First, it’s important to identify the mistakes you think you’re repeating. For example, if your parents constantly butt heads over simple matters, you may find yourself being combative in your relationships. Or, if your parents were never very good at supporting one another’s goals and dreams, you may find yourself attracted to potential partners who constantly question or feel intimidated by your own goals and dreams. By identifying the relationship patterns you perpetuate, you take the first step toward breaking free and having a more satisfying relationship future.

Tip #2: Break Free from Your Parents’ Patterns

Once you’ve identified the relationship patterns you don’t want to mirror, your next step is to break free from them. Start by making a list of the patterns and habits you’re ready to relinquish. For example, you may want to let go of your controlling nature or your need to always be right in relationships—traits you inherited from your parents’ behavior. Once you’ve made your list, review it and ask yourself what healthy relationship habits you can introduce in their place. For example, instead of being a control freak, you may embrace the idea that relationships take compromise and you’re open to negotiation. Instead of insisting that you’re always right, you may accept the fact that you don’t always have all the answers and that it’s perfectly okay to be wrong sometimes.

Tip #3: Create a New Relationship Vocabulary

Here’s an incredibly empowering exercise: Write down five to ten words that describe what you think about love and relationships. Start by saying, “Love is…” and then fill in the blanks. By putting your beliefs on paper, you can better see how you might be having trouble attracting your perfect partner. If your list includes words like challenging, unfulfilling, difficult, etc., you next need to create a new vocabulary for yourself. Start by once again writing “Love is…” and then write down five to ten words that describe the kind of healthy relationship you want to start enjoying. If you need help getting started, words like available, happy, healthy, and fulfilling should inspire you. Practice this exercise morning and night for 30 days.

By creating a new love vocabulary and practicing it every day for a month, you’ll be surprised with the results. You may start attracting potential partners who mirror your new vocabulary. If it doesn’t happen overnight, don’t give up, just keep practicing.

Tip #4: Don’t Judge Your Parents’ Mistakes (or Yourself)

As you break free from your parents’ dysfunctional patterns and habits and re-create your own healthy relationship vocabulary, it’s important to relinquish any judgment you have toward your parents or yourself. The truth is, they did the best they could with the knowledge they had. You, too, will do the best you can do with the awareness and knowledge you possess. Your first step was to recognize the relationship patterns and habits you inherited that don’t work for you. By breaking free and celebrating your authentic vision of love, you increase your chances of relationship success.

Now that you know how to avoid repeating the mistakes your parents made, you are free to enjoy a healthy and happy relationship future. When in doubt, review the tips, practice your new love vocabulary, and release any self-imposed judgment.

» Clingy Behavior you Need to Nix Now

If you are a relationship cling-on you could be scaring your partners away. But exercise some independence and your relationship will thrive.

While most of us are looking for an attentive and thoughtful companion, there is no bigger deal breaker than a needy partner. Smothering your significant other with high-maintenance demands is one of the quickest ways to push him or her away. Plus, looking to others for validation will only leave you disappointed and disempowered.

So what qualifies as needy? We have compiled a list of needy moves you need to nix to keep your mate interested and yourself on the track to independence.

Clingy Move #1: Playing the Copycat

Do you find yourself adopting your significant other’s interests? If he likes NASCAR or she likes country music, are you instantly a “me too” fan? It’s fine to check out and learn more about what your mate likes, but shadowing or following his or her hobbies is unbecoming. It implies that you have no interests of your own.

It is definitely more attractive if as a partner you are stimulating and challenging, rather than the same boring story all the time. Mixing it up with different hobbies, beliefs and preferences just makes things more appealing. A newfound appreciation for something you wouldn’t normally consider is great, but show careful consideration when it comes to copycatting.

Clingy Move #2: Never Having Anything Going On

For fear of being unavailable in case your flame calls, you clear your schedule for the possibility of a last-minute request for your time. Maybe you never even initiate plans with others because you don’t want to be busy but at your sweetheart’s beck and call. Even when you are giddy with love for someone new, the trick is to continue to operate as normal, which means you should not always be available.

Even when you’re falling deeply in love, it’s important that you maintain your sense of self and that you actually enjoy your time to yourself. Relying on your significant other for a good time makes you come off as—pardon the word—pathetic. Plus, it’s very tiring for the person who’s been put in charge of entertaining you.

Clingy Move #3: Pulling the Ditch and Switch

If you are ditching your friends to hang out with your new lady love or charming chap, you have your priorities blurred. Of course it’s important to meet and spend time with new people who are important in your life, but don’t completely pull the rug out from under the strong relationships you fostered while single.

It’s easy to get caught up in the excitement and freshness of new love, but remember that your friends and family were there before this relationship and most likely will continue to be there if it doesn’t work out.

Clingy Move #4: Putting Your Significant Other on Lockdown

When she is out on a girls’ night or he is out with his bros, leave them alone. If you can’t resist calling 67 times while your significant other is away, you’ll look needy and desperate. You have to trust that he or she is faithful and honest while respecting your relationship. If he doesn’t call when he says he will, think twice before you freak out. Perhaps he’s having a great time or got caught up someplace.

If you let your significant other have some space, it will make the reunion much more special. Try calling only when necessary, as a little flirting can be fun, but more than a couple of text messages or voice mails is probably too many.

Clingy Move #5: Being Unable to Do Anything by Yourself

Not every activity must be conducted together. You are an individual, and it’s okay to step out on your own. If you want a companion for a trip to the drugstore or on your morning run, take along your dog, an MP3 player or a friend. If you attach yourself to your mate’s hip all the time, he or she won’t have the opportunity to miss you. In fact, it can be quite annoying. Kick back and give your partner some space and realize the closeness that is reaped from separation.

Ultimately, it’s a big sign of insecurity if you are constantly leaning on others to make you feel comfortable. It could make your partner resent the weight you are laying on her and she will react by denying you. Not only do your insecurities make others feel prickly, they might also remind them of their own vulnerabilities, creating bitterness. Neediness can rob energy from your mate, exhausting patience and depleting the warm fuzzies. Instead, start radiating independence and confidence in your relationship and get a life of your own.

» You've Cheated. Now What?

You've cheated. Will you keep it a secret, or fess up? Do you want to make your relationship work or end it and pursue the person you've cheated with? And what about forgiveness?

It’s a bad situation. You’ve cheated. You don’t want to be unfaithful anymore, but you don’t know how to move on. Whether it was a onetime thing or an ongoing affair, something has to change in your relationship and in your life. Will you keep your indiscretion(s) a secret, or fess up? Do you want to make your relationship work, or end it and pursue the person you’ve cheated with? And what about forgiveness—can you even ask for it? Before you make another move, review the following guidelines. They may save you from making a bad situation even worse.

Fess Up or Hush Up?

In almost every case, confessing your indiscretions—whether past or present—is the best option. Without disclosure, there’s no way for the two of you to move on.

If you do confess, get ready for a lot of pain on both sides. You will hurt your partner, of course, and the person may drop you right there. Your partner is likely to unload on you pretty heavily—and not just about your infidelity. The person may lash out at you about a whole range of issues and may just attack you so that you feel some of the pain that he or she is feeling. You should also be ready to hear about any affairs your partner may have had, as that could be the closest emotional weapon he or she has at hand. So don’t fess up thinking that it’ll be a quick and easy process; do it because you want to either end or repair your relationship on an honest footing.

Work It Out or End It?

Answering this question is difficult without considering the circumstances of your relationship. Are you married? Are children involved? Is your affair with someone you have serious feelings for? It’s impossible to render advice for every possible variation, but here are two important points to remember:

1. Consider the feelings of everyone who will be impacted by this decision. If you’ve been dating for three months, that list of people probably has two names on it. This generally makes a decision to leave less difficult. If you’ve been married for 10 years, the list may include many people whose lives could be impacted by your choice. Make sure you give time and thought to every single person who will have to deal with the consequences of your decision.

2. If you choose to work it out, you’ve got a lot to prove. The one who violates the trust in a relationship gives up a great deal of freedom and believability for a considerable time. That person also has to work to gain it back. That means giving your partner an extra degree of assurance that you are where you say you are, doing what you said, with an appropriate person. You’ve also probably raised the level of emotional communication that your partner will need in order to feel secure. This is hard work, but it’s the only way to rebuild the trust that is necessary for a relationship to grow and endure.

Identify What Went Wrong

Typically, cheating is not an isolated incident. It’s a reflection of your state of mind and, in some cases, a reaction to what’s missing in your current relationship or life in general. If you’ve cheated, now’s the perfect time to ask yourself what happened and what it’s going to take to fix it. That list of next steps may include individual therapy or couples counseling.

You owe it to your partner, as well as to yourself, to take responsibility for your actions and take the lead in an effort to heal the situation. If both partners are willing, the healing process may just bring you closer.

Don’t Expect Forgiveness

The consequences of your infidelity are unknown. However, you can’t expect your partner to forgive or control his or her ability to forgive. This may or may not happen in its own time. Your job is to give your partner the space and time he or she needs to heal, as well as to provide constant and easily verifiable evidence that you are living, speaking and acting the Truth.

Forgive Yourself

You made a mistake. Rather than beat yourself up for your actions and behavior, you should instead forgive yourself. That doesn’t mean you’re off the hook for your infidelity. It doesn’t mean you avoid taking concrete and immediate steps to change your behavior.

Rather, forgiving yourself frees up your mental and emotional energy. It allows you to work harder to heal your relationship and change your habits. Forgiveness is not a sign of weakness. It’s actually a show of strength, and in forgiving yourself, you give yourself permission to repair the relationship damage your infidelity inflicted.

Infidelity is one of the worst “events” a relationship can suffer. Yet couples have survived it and even watched their relationships grow as a result of the healing process. Remember, communication is key, as is your compassion while your partner recovers.

If you and your partner decide to part ways as a result of your indiscretion, remember that the truly tragic mistakes in life are the ones where we fail to learn the lesson.

» Are you Boring your Dates to Death?

If you can't remember the last time you scored a second date, pause for a second and reflect. Was your end of the conversation interesting or yawn-worthy? If it’s the latter, we have some tips for getting back into the game.



With a string of bad dates behind you and no dates to speak of in the immediate future, one starts to wonder: could it be me?

Well, don’t be so hard on yourself yet. Many factors play a part in finding the love of your life. Being in the right frame of mind, good timing and a little lady luck are just a few.

That said, you may want to consider exactly what you are bringing to the table when you go out with someone. Be honest with yourself here. Do you think that you're you a good date? Do you think you are fun to be around?

Hopefully the answer to those questions is a whole-hearted yes. But if you are boring others with yawn-worthy conversations, turning them off with negativity or avoiding people altogether, you are making your search to find “the one” that much more difficult.

Ready to get real? Here are some key indicators to help you determine whether you are dating to your potential or sabotaging your chances at a connection.

It’s All About Me

First, reflect upon your last date. What did your date like to do for fun? What kind of movies did he or she like? What music did he or she listen to? If you are at a loss for an answer, either you haven’t been on a date for a while or you monopolized the conversation.

This is a common problem for many people, and in most cases it’s unintentional. Some just can’t stand the sound of silence, and to fill it they’ll talk about anything. Since we feel comfortable talking about what we know, the conversation inevitably turns to ourselves.

If you are really into playing the guitar, going to a Renaissance Faire or making jewelry, great—you are halfway there. You have something to talk about. It’s perfectly fine to talk to people about what you enjoy, but don’t forget to reciprocate by asking other people about the activities that bring them joy.

Homebound

Let’s now look at how you socialize. Do you pretty much keep to yourself? Do you shop online 100% of the time? In other words, are you avoiding the masses and refusing to go out? If the answer to these questions is mostly yes, you are running the risk of being too withdrawn. It may seem silly, but if you never interact with other people you may just forget how.

If you never leave your house, you’ll never meet new people. We aren’t advocating you go out and strike up a conversation with everyone you see on the street. Rather, we ask that you just put yourself out there. Go to museums, coffeehouses and parks, if only just to scope out the scene. Before you know it, you’ll meet a few people and have a few interesting experiences to talk about on your next first date.

Whether you are chatting with the store clerk or having a conversation with the pretty lady at the booth next to you, remember that you could meet someone that you like or, better yet, someone who is attracted to you!

And While You’re There…

While you are putting your best adventurous foot forward, try your best to be approachable. Dodging eye contact, shrugging your shoulders and giving blank stares may be unintentional, but they’re nonverbal ways of telling people to leave you alone.

If you are shy, just say so. Everyone can relate to being uncomfortable in mingling situations or nervous on a first date, but looking the other way only makes your counterpart feel that you are aloof or, worse, uninterested.

Ditch the Negativity

Last, consider your attitude and carefully consider how you approach the world. A brooding bore with hunched shoulders and a negative attitude isn’t fun to chat with anytime, let alone on a date.

If you are feeling down about being a single, or you just feel frustrated by the everyday stuff, try to figure out how to change your attitude so that it doesn’t consume you. Misery may love company, but nothing is more boring than a person who complains constantly, especially about stuff that’s not all that important.

Living in the modern world means that you’re bound to get parking tickets, get yelled at by your boss and be forced to deal with situations that are otherwise inconvenient or unpleasant. If you can train yourself to recover quickly from life’s misfortunes, you’ll be better off—and more fun to be around.

Ultimately, well-rounded individuals interact with others, enjoy diverse experiences and gain knowledge and advice from the company they keep. It’s true that defining what makes a person boring varies from person to person. The key to being an interesting date is not necessarily knowing what to talk about, it’s more about learning about the other person, asking questions and genuinely investing in the discovery process.

> Relationships, Weddings, Babies. I’m Getting Left Behind!

Once you’ve bid farewell to your awkward phase, those trying teenage years and young-adulthood, life as you know it is pretty much set in stone, right? You find “the one,” get married and have children.

It may sound like happily ever after, but what if you are on the path less traveled? Whether it is your choice to remain unmarried and child free or the family life just hasn’t happened for you yet, it can be hard to witness the evolution of your peers with grace, especially when the outside world is expecting you to catch up.

When the couple waves from their “Just Married” limo or your best friend is pregnant with her third, how do you cope with the feeling that you’re getting left behind?

The Friendship That Once Was

In college you were inseparable. The two of you lived together, took the same classes and sat next to each other during graduation. Now that she’s a mom you hardly see her. When you do manage to get together, you feel as though you are the only one of her friends who’s not married with children.

It may be hard, but try not to take it personally that your college bud has a gaggle of new Mommy buddies at the park or invites a crop of married couples to her dinner parties. It’s only natural that newlyweds and/or new parents will seek moral support from peers who are in the same place in their lives.

When you feel like you are the last item on your friend’s priority list, the important thing to remember is that your friend still loves you.

The New Parents

Watching friends become parents can be difficult for people who are very close to them. As “the old friend,” it can be hard to accept that your once integral position in their lives has become a less-needed role.

The feelings are contradictory, and that’s what makes it difficult. On one hand, you are happy for your friend, you love her baby, but you can’t help but feel a sense of loss. After all, you used to hang out at least once a week. Now it seems you’re lucky if you see her once every six months.

Stop feeling guilty, because your feelings are completely natural. It’s okay to allow yourself to grieve the passing of the old relationship or the way things “once were.” So maybe you aren’t gossiping over martinis on the porch until dawn. You can still bond with your friend during Gymboree dates with her charming toddler.

Renegotiating

When your contemporaries are immersing themselves in the family life, feeling as if you are getting left behind is a normal response. Akin to the empty nest syndrome, you may feel that you are no longer needed as much in their life.

Witnessing the people you care about move on to a different life than you once had together is scary, but inevitable. But look at it this way: these changes are happy ones. These amendments will serve as evidence of how you can roll with life’s unpredictability and of the value of your relationship.

In truth, your relationships will change, but not necessarily for the worse. It may prompt a reevaluation of your life choices or affirm them. But keep in mind that everyone has his or her own timeline and path in life. If everyone around you is going in the same direction, but not necessarily your direction, it’s understandable that your confidence in your choices may waver.

But remember this: just because you aren’t subscribing to the same schedule doesn’t mean you are destined for loneliness or that you will somehow realize what you have been missing when it’s too late. Pay attention to what is right for you and your lifestyle and your goals. Just because everyone is doing it doesn’t make it right for you, right now.