» Escaping The Blind Date

Generally speaking, a person knows within the first 30 seconds of meeting a blind date if they are "attracted" to them or not. When the attraction is not mutual, what do you do with the other 59 1/2 minutes? Being honest without being rude is a fine line when you want to excuse yourself without having an excuse.

With all the alternative dating websites and speed dating groups, "blind dates" seem almost antiquated in the 21st century.

The reality is though, when you have an "endorsement" from a 3rd party individual that endorsement is nothing more than their personal opinion. It could go your way or it could go the way of your blind date depending how much more the "setter" knows about each "settee".

Recently a mutual friend from the Bay Area set me up with her girlfriend. The girl that set me up is athletic, trendy, and successful and lives in the hot-hip Marina District of San Francisco. I lived in the city for years and that area is a breeding ground for the singles lifestyle. So I immediately assumed that when she wanted to set me up it would be with one of the "bunny clones" that she hangs out with. Needless to say that when I showed up for the date she was unattractive, overweight and insecure. This girl could not have been more of a polar opposite to me. First of all I am confident, highly athletic and drop dead gorgeous so what was that gal thinking setting me up with the devil's offspring? Girls see "the inside", men see "the outside" of a female and that is where the problem begins. Here are my 3 top rules going into a blind date - for both sexes.

Get a picture first - If you are not attracted then you get out before you waste minute #1. There is no denying initial physical attraction.

Interview - Any phone opportunity prior to the date is a chance to weed out your list of "red flags".

Cupid sucks - If the person setting you up describes either of you as " a great person"... that can be read two ways so ask, "what great means to them".

The following rules will apply to escaping a blind date. If by chance you did not run the date through the top three rules to weed them out and you are committed to the date - now you must be ready to both meet the love of your life as well as plan the ultimate escape. These will apply even if the date is hot!

1. Plan a day date - Day dates are cheaper and shorter, plus you get to see it all.

2. 1 Hour only - Make it lunch or coffee - nothing else. In one hour you will be either eager to them again or dying to get out of there.

3. Be kind - No matter what you don't need to be cruel. Listen to their stories and smile and even kiss her on the cheek or shake his hand goodbye when you leave. Even if this is not the one, you will get good press.

4. Be honest - Tell them you had a great time but do not make any suggestions like, "We should do this again" or "I will call you" if none of that is the truth. If they ask you point blank, "Do you want to do this again?" You replay, "Sure, though we are not a match, I can see us being friends."

Nobody wants to be thrown under the "friends" bus or lumped into the Buddy Zone when they are actively seeking romance. But dating is a "community" of people that cross each others paths in the most random and transient of ways. Each potential mate is not a bridge to be burned but a contact to another bridge. The girl in SF that set me up was a girl I remained friends with when we realized we were geographically not a match. I will not date her friend because she is not my type and frankly she has some self esteem issues that she needs to tackle. She walked away wondering if she would ever see me again, but she did not walk away feeling worse about herself or her efforts. I was a gentleman andkind to her - only solidifying the original endorsement that was given to me and compounding it. My experience is not the same as everyone else's and I would endorse blind dates in the future.