» Escaping The Blind Date

Generally speaking, a person knows within the first 30 seconds of meeting a blind date if they are "attracted" to them or not. When the attraction is not mutual, what do you do with the other 59 1/2 minutes? Being honest without being rude is a fine line when you want to excuse yourself without having an excuse.

With all the alternative dating websites and speed dating groups, "blind dates" seem almost antiquated in the 21st century.

The reality is though, when you have an "endorsement" from a 3rd party individual that endorsement is nothing more than their personal opinion. It could go your way or it could go the way of your blind date depending how much more the "setter" knows about each "settee".

Recently a mutual friend from the Bay Area set me up with her girlfriend. The girl that set me up is athletic, trendy, and successful and lives in the hot-hip Marina District of San Francisco. I lived in the city for years and that area is a breeding ground for the singles lifestyle. So I immediately assumed that when she wanted to set me up it would be with one of the "bunny clones" that she hangs out with. Needless to say that when I showed up for the date she was unattractive, overweight and insecure. This girl could not have been more of a polar opposite to me. First of all I am confident, highly athletic and drop dead gorgeous so what was that gal thinking setting me up with the devil's offspring? Girls see "the inside", men see "the outside" of a female and that is where the problem begins. Here are my 3 top rules going into a blind date - for both sexes.

Get a picture first - If you are not attracted then you get out before you waste minute #1. There is no denying initial physical attraction.

Interview - Any phone opportunity prior to the date is a chance to weed out your list of "red flags".

Cupid sucks - If the person setting you up describes either of you as " a great person"... that can be read two ways so ask, "what great means to them".

The following rules will apply to escaping a blind date. If by chance you did not run the date through the top three rules to weed them out and you are committed to the date - now you must be ready to both meet the love of your life as well as plan the ultimate escape. These will apply even if the date is hot!

1. Plan a day date - Day dates are cheaper and shorter, plus you get to see it all.

2. 1 Hour only - Make it lunch or coffee - nothing else. In one hour you will be either eager to them again or dying to get out of there.

3. Be kind - No matter what you don't need to be cruel. Listen to their stories and smile and even kiss her on the cheek or shake his hand goodbye when you leave. Even if this is not the one, you will get good press.

4. Be honest - Tell them you had a great time but do not make any suggestions like, "We should do this again" or "I will call you" if none of that is the truth. If they ask you point blank, "Do you want to do this again?" You replay, "Sure, though we are not a match, I can see us being friends."

Nobody wants to be thrown under the "friends" bus or lumped into the Buddy Zone when they are actively seeking romance. But dating is a "community" of people that cross each others paths in the most random and transient of ways. Each potential mate is not a bridge to be burned but a contact to another bridge. The girl in SF that set me up was a girl I remained friends with when we realized we were geographically not a match. I will not date her friend because she is not my type and frankly she has some self esteem issues that she needs to tackle. She walked away wondering if she would ever see me again, but she did not walk away feeling worse about herself or her efforts. I was a gentleman andkind to her - only solidifying the original endorsement that was given to me and compounding it. My experience is not the same as everyone else's and I would endorse blind dates in the future.

» Single Men and Stupid Things They Do

The other day when I was visiting my local coffee hangout I ran into a girl I had not seen in some time.

She looked great, I walked right up and made it clear that I had noticed the change in her looks, and within seconds I realized I had said something stupid. I approached her with a gleam, loudly and proudly I exclaimed, "You have lost a ton of weight haven't you?" Of course in my mind I was impressed but verbally it came out like she used to be a fat cow.

That is just a precursor to the absurd things that single men do to knock evolution back a couple hundred years. Gentlemen, chivalry is not dead but if you think it is your love life will soon be. I don't care if the girl getting into your car is your mouthy sister; always open the door for her or anyone else getting in your car.

Opening doors is polite and often when done for strangers it goes unappreciated but rest assured the opposite habit of never opening a door for a female is "frat boy" or "rookie" level of play. Another stupid single guy move is not calling a girl in the proper time frame. More guys don't get any rhythm from the girls they meet because they try to be "cool". The coolest guys never try to act cool, cool guys keep their word, are sincere and trustworthy. All that starts with a call. If you get a phone number from a girl - don't be an idiot, ask her when a good time to call is and then you actually call her at the time agreed upon. If you get her number and call her 3 days later and she does not return your call... don't hold your breath.

Here is a big tip for you guys who get plenty of action or very little action, "Always call the very next day after a date, no matter what".

You are so lucky you are reading this because I am also going to teach you how to kiss. This is very high on the stupid human tricks that men perform. They can kiss. First of all, only if 75% of all your dates told you that you kiss well do you actually kiss well. If the number is lower, then you don't kiss well and those poor kittens are just tolerating it. Do yourself a favor and up your flavor by being a good kisser. I was taught this method when I was 11 years old because a girl I knew told me she wanted to kiss like the "French people".

Do exactly what she does! If she only opens her mouths slightly then so do you, if she presses gently then so do you, if she only puts the TIP of the tongue in your mouth then that is all you give back. you want a girl to think you are a good kisser or "her type" then mimic her affections and she will think you think like she thinks.. get it stuid? Another ruse performed by single guys has to be when to use the male mute button.

Men, compulsive by nature, are always trying to "solve" problems or "control" things and when it comes to communication with a female never forget rule #1, "Shut up and listen". You can not say something stupid if you do not speak. I am not telling you to become a verbal punching bag, merely allow her to vent about all her issues. I learned a long time ago that not everything a female says requires a response from me. More often it is not responding or appearing empathetic that makes you look like the good guy. This applies to first dates as well when she is telling any story that starts with, "This is so funny..." There are too many stupid actions of men to list here but the aforementioned all have one common denominator - put the girl first.

If you have her best interests in mind then how could you look stupid? Being a gentleman sounds corny but girls would rather have a gentleman than some mindless, selfish tool.

Don't be a tag along or cookie cut out of your friends because they are in fact your competition. Every time they do something stupid and you are with them you are guilty by association.

You can count on your competition to make them selves look stupid, don't help them. There are moments when looking stupid, don't help them. There are moments when looing stupid can come in handy. For instance, if you are on a date with a girl who is the stupid one, simply pull out the number one deal breaker - go Dutch.

» Calling in "The One"

Every once in a great while, along comes a book that has the power to change lives, to really transform them. I knew "Calling in the One" was such a book before I was midway through it.

Based on the Law of Attraction, which states that we can only attract what we're really ready to receive, Woodward Thomas digs deeply to discover what's blocking your ability to build the relationship of your dreams. Then, one by one, with powerful exercises, she helps you remove the obstacles.

Her program is so comprehensive, so intensive - that if you follow it, your life can't help but be transformed. And, she hits all the right spots. Leaving no stone unturned in the quest for relationship readiness, you'll delve into how you see yourself, others and the world. All your automatic, habitual thoughts, emotions, and behaviors will be called into question. You'll recognize patterns, grapple with old wounds, and learn to let go. Basically, you'll discover all the ways you are standing in your own way. That's right! Get ready for the main premise: It's not that real love isn't out there for you - it's that you keep getting in its way!

But make no mistake, this journey isn't for the faint of heart. Woodward Thomas wants you to set aside seven weeks for her course and work on a new, soul-searching lesson every day. You've got to be willing to look deeply into yourself and be brutally honest about what you find there. You'll have to admit your mistakes and take action to correct them. You'll be challenged to take 100% responsibility for what you are creating as your life. And you'll need to face fear and failure as you attempt to create a richer, deeper, more meaningful existence. But you've got to be ready because no one's going to do the work for you!

Ultimately, that's the bottom line of Calling in The One: You are attracting and creating all the circumstances of your life. Are you really ready for that life to be filled with love? If so, let's get started, because there's lots of work to do. And Woodward Thomas has created one of the few remarkable blueprints that is genuinely capable of getting your there.

» The First Date - Think Outside!

First dates can become pretty predictable. Try something different like a picnic. This can be a fun and enjoyable way to get through the first date but it takes a little planning.

Where?

Don't leave it to chance to find a perfect place. Check around and find a good park or spot in the mountains to have a picnic. Check for parking and any time restrictions. Also consider the different weather condictions and where you will go if it should start to rain. After all we live here in Colorado where you can get sunshine, rain, snow and then sunshine all in about an hour. Is there a covered area close by or will you need to take refuge in your car?

What to Eat?

Keep it simple. Go to a local grocery store such as a Whole Foods and ceck out the deli section. There are four components to the meal you'll need to cover:

1. Select a meat dish - stick with beef or chicken unless you know your date likes something else. Lamb isn't really popular and many people have seafood allergies. If trying to decide between a light and heavy prepared meat dish - go light. It is much easier to match the other components of the meal with a light flavor.

2. Pick a vegetable - try going with a vegetable dish that has little cream. Otherwise, you'll need to make sure this dish stays cold to prevent food poisoning. Get a colorful vegetable dish to make the whole meal look good. I have found grilled or marinated vegetables to be a perfect solution.

3. Choose a starch - pasta with again little to no cream is ideal. Sometimes there are potato salads that are made without mayonnaise. This will work as well. Sometimes a pasta salad will include some vegetables. This does not mean to skip on the vegetables. Just have lots of vegetables in your meal.

4. Finally, swing by the pastry section of the bakery. Select two or three yummy pastries to share with your date. If the bakery doesn't have anything that wows you, then grab some fresh strawberries, sour cream and brown sugar. You and your date can dip your strawberries in the sour cream and brown sugar for a mouth-watering strawberry cheesecake.

One Last Thing

Don't forget a blanket, silverware, napkins and cups. If you are going to serve wine, bring a wine key. Other than that you are set to go. Relax and have fun.

» Women And Money

"Times, they are a changing." according to the latest IRS figures 39 percent of the country's 6.5 million top holders of wealth are women. That translates into approximately 2.5 million women who have combined assets of $4.2 trillion.

What makes this significant? According to Joana L. Krotz, a former editor at Money, of this group of wealthy women, 42 percent are single or widowed. She further states that by 2050 an estimated $41 trillion is expected to pass from the oldest generation to the next. What we will see is more and more wealth concentrated in the hands of women. Krotz further cites that with this gender controlled shift of wealth, so the shift in the world of giving.

This trend has become more noticeable since the late 1990's. Donna Hall is the new executive director of the Women Donors Network, a group of 90 women out of Palo Alto, Calif, who qualify to join by giving away at least $25,000 a yar. It was created nine years ago to educate wealthy women how to give effectively. Early on it assisted women who had inherited money and lacked the confidence in their financial abilities, but serves a broader scope of women who want to be sure that their philanthropy makes a difference.

In answering the question, why it is important for women to have their own organization, Hall points out that women come to money and to this experience differently that men. No longer do women have to deal with where to get the money, women currently control a majority of the wealth in the United States according to Hall. They tend, as they grow older to be self-sufficient and to deal with the issues germane to their lives through philanthropy. She states that they want to develop girls and women's programs and to fight for social justice. Women put money where their heart is. That's why women need an organization. Interestingly, women approach philanthropic giving different that men. Marcia Festen, a Chicago-based philanthropic adviser say, "more women tend to give anonymously than men, and, unlike men, women give based on their values more than their egos." Women are more likely to give over longer periods of time and to give a higher proportion of their income. Men are more likely to give to traditional charities, universities, sports clubs or churches. Women give more liberally. Sondra Shaw and Martha Taylor are co-founders of the Women's Philanthropy Institute and authors of Reinventing Fundraising. Realizing the Potential of Women's Philanthropy. Founded in 1997, the highly regarded Women's Philanthropy Institute located on the campus of Indiana University-Purdue University Indianapolis.

The WPI educates, encourages and inspires women to employ philanthropy to affect global change through innovative programs and a dynamic speaker's bureau. Martha Taylor in a WPI article points out eight strategies for more effective giving. She stresses that philanthropy should begin as early in life as possible. Encouraging women to find their passion and then focus their gifts to have the most impact even organizing others and making pooled gifts. She stresses teaching the art of philanthropy to the next generation, instilling these values on your children. Never forgetting to make philanthropy fun. More and more women are directing their dollars towards causes that they care about and setting the state for this new women's movement: philanthropy. Linda Shoemaker, a Women's Donors Network member since 1999, won Colorado's Outstanding Philanthropist for 2004. At a luncheon, Linda Shoemaker was honored as a women who personifies all that a philanthropist should be. A visionary, willing to take risks... she sets the standard for public foundation leadership, say Josie Heath of the Community Foundation Serving Boulder County. Linda Shoemaker is dedicated to making a difference. She volunteered as a Court Appointed Special Advocate for Abused and Neglected children and is involved with the I Have a Dream Foundation, providing college sholarships to students who otherwise would not be able to attend college. Clearly, women can and are making a difference. Some create new solutions to old problems, some use their financial power, some create organizations, some volunteer their time. With the shift of financial economics, women are using their financial purse to create new solutions to old problems and working to make a lasting difference.

» 4 Guys You Shouldn't Date

Chump #1: The Workaholic Hotshot

This guy is always dressed to the nines, because he's loaded. Simmer down -- the cash flow comes at a price. He toils until the wee hours, then loosens his tie and parties like there's no tomorrow. Unfortunately, there is a tomorrow, and it starts in like three hours. What little time he has for you will be shared with his BlackBerry. The ugly truth: Money is the love of his life, and you come in second -- or third, since he's probably crunching more than numbers with his secretary.

Chump #2: The Adrenaline Junkie

This dude skydives, surfs, runs with the bulls -- anything for that rush. And he has the sick abs and chiseled arms to prove it. But to keep him happy, you need to be in perpetual motion too. This guy does not like to sit around, and he doesn't like for you to sit around either. And it isn't just a phase. In his late 30s, he'll get into marathons, and they'll lead to triathlons and eventually to the Ironman competition. Yeah, that means a trip to Hawaii, but instead of chilling on the beach you'll be cheering him on from the sidelines. Having fun yet?

Chump #3: The Nice Guy With a Chip on His Shoulder

He'll ridicule the "tools who are trying too hard" with bold clothing choices to seem down-to-earth, but here's his dirty little secret: He spends just as much time picking out his outfit as his more fashion-conscious counterparts do. Under the casual exterior is a calculating killjoy with mom issues. He'll stand at the bar thinking, "Why is that girl going for that dude over there? One day, she'll come to her senses and get with a nice guy like me!" The truth is, he's so preoccupied with being overlooked that he'd be totally oblivious to your attention.

Chump #4: The Smooth Operator

He's the type that rolls up to the club in an Escalade and holds court in the VIP section, ordering bottle service all night. He scores women with entertaining small talk and name-dropping. Yeah, he's a Casanova in a skull cap (it replaced his trucker hat about a year ago). But this guy spells trouble. It takes confidence to pull it off with a straight face -- too much confidence. (There is such a thing.) He'll shower you with attention, but beware: You may not be the only chick in that shower!

» Is A Wink Just A Wink?

I'm a single women who uses internet dating. I don't respond to men who simply "wink" at me, rather than writing a note. If they were really interested, they would write an email, right?

I used to agree with that strategy, believing that if a man was serious about learning more, he'd bother to write a few sentences. But not any more. Here's why. I've heard from lots of kind, sweet men who have grown tired of composing thoughtful introductory emails only to be ignored. After spending tons of time getting absolutely no response from many women who can't be bothered to write back and say, "no thank you," they have understandably decided to try a safer, less time burdensome course - the wink.

Although I don't know precisely why the internet dating sites instituted the wink, let's just ay it's purpose is quick an dirty: I am interested in you, are you interested in me? Seems fair enough, simple and to the point. Sure, it'd be really nice for people to write more, but the typical lack of response in internet dating doesn't really reward that. So, are my recommendations.

For men - Realize that many women are turned off by your use of the wink. They think you must not be that interested if you can't write a few personalized sentences based on what you read in their profile. So, rather than risk a premature "no" from someone who may have been interested if you had shown more effort, why not compromise and write a very brief, couple sentence note thta shows you really read her profile and found something intriguing enough to write her. I agree, it's not worth a dissertation, since the prevailing response is silence.

For women: Realize it's tough on men to constantly be putting themselves at risk for rejection. Recognize that they often try, with no response. you'd get tired of trying too if you were rarely rewarded! See the wink for what it is: a hello with an invitation for more. So, if you find the man at all interesting, just give a wink back and ipen that door for him to walk through. Then let him follow up with a real email.

And feel free to initiate contact with a wink yourself. It's akin to batting your eyelashes and smiling! There are lots and lots of profiles online and there is no way to know if he's even seen yours. I've used a brief email or wink to let someone know that I am interested and I've met many wonderful men that way.

What if you are not interested? Well, I have found that many men really appreciate a quick note back just kindly stating that fact, especially if they wrote a note, but even if they winked. Try something like "Thanks for the wink/email. I bet you're a great guy/gal with lots to offer, but I don't think we'd make the best match. Good luck finding the right partner!" I was shocked to find how many men were actually grateful for any response, even a negative one, simply because they are so used to deafening silence.

For All - Let's remember that we are dealing with people's hopes and feelings here. The anonymity of the internet makes it easy for people to forget that. Rather than all the silence, ignoring, and random acts of disappearance going around, let's change the prevailing etiquette to something more along the liens of "Thank you, but no thanks." Let's return to common human decency and courtesy. Do your part to ake the internet dating world a kinder, gentler, more honest place to interact by making an effort to kindly respond to anyone who has the courage to knock on your door. Remember, we all have the same goal, to find true love, and it can be a heck of a rough world out there if we don't stick together!

» My Naked Heart

We're on our second or third date, and the conversation is pleasant. Laughter comes easily. i'm feeling comfortable, feeling like the relationship might actually develop into someting. Yee-Hah! A bit of personal information comes flying out of my mouth and streaks out the door, shining like the moon in all of its naked glory. The man may or may not look at me as if to say "What was that all about?"" He may actually respond with a bit of his own personal information. Usually, I just take another sip of wine and laugh it off, but later on, when I'm home alone, I shake my head and say to myself, "You did it again."

I've thought a lot about why I do this. It doesn't feel intertional or self-destructive. It feels spontaneous and free. Why shouldn't a man know that I got sunburned on a clothing-optional beach in Hawaii last year? Okay, I know the answer to that one, but sometimes it seems as though the errant tidbit just fall into the conversation naturally. The little voice that ought to be editing my words before they hit the airwaves seems to disengage when I'm having a good time. There's a stronger voice persent, and this one is saying, "Now here's a guy who will understand you. Let it all hang out, baby!" I'm old enough to remember the streakers of the 60s and the 70s. It was a popular way to show one's boldness and joiede vivre. Who can resist smirking a little at the though of a naked man running across the playing field during a sporting event? When the furor over streaking started to die down, people turned to publicly baring their souls, spilling their hearts on talk shows. Later, technology brought us instant messaging, cell phones, and text messaging. "Tell me everything, " became, "Tell me everything... right now!" Modern America has embraced the speed of instant communication to the point of becoming almost voyerristic. So what's so wrong about my little personal Show and Tell problem?

Personal experience tells me I'm not the only one who does this sort of thing. In fact, my case is relatively mild. Last summer in Border's I met a man who told me he was a poet. Okay, I thought, that's nice. Then he went on to tell me that he came from a long line of poets, - schizophrenic poets - and that he hoped to move to Paris soon to write poetry all the time. I didn't need to know that, but in a way, I'm glad he told me.

Last fall I dated a guy who asked me things like "How does PMS affect you?" and, "So, what's the craziest place you've ever had sex?" I can't imagine why anyone in their right mind would ask these things so early in a relationship. Who needs to know that stuff? I may be a verbal streaker, but that guy was a verbal voyeur. We stopped seeing each other soon after that.

Maybe that's why I sometimes let my thoughts run wildly out of my mouth, like a kid breaking free on the last day of school. Maybe I'm just testing the waters, trying to figure out what is taboo and what is simply acceptable curiosity. Maybe subconsciously I'm thinking that it's better for me if a man runs away sooner rather than later, when I'm more emotionally attached. Perhaps my verbal streaking is just my way of saying, "Here I am. Love me or leave me." In my heart, I know what's wrong with this habit. My unconscious urge to let my heart run free and be loved openly is what keeps men from wanting to know more. I don't just pique their curiosity; I kill it. I take away their desire to look deeper and see the real me. There's no doubt about it - streaking leaves little to the imagination. The deeper loss is that verbal streaking eliminates the joy of discovery, one of the most intoxicating things about being with someone new.

I used to think it strange that so many of my relationships have ended the same way. Now I see that I haven't had many relationships; I've had the same relationship with many different people. It's time for something new. Shakespeare wrote, "We know what we are, but know not what we may be." It is with that thought that I quietly, demurely dress my ego for more successful relationships. I'm going to find that voice of reason and give it a megaphone. From now on, I'm saving streaking for that clothing-optional beach in Hawaii.

» The Successful First Date

Ah, the first date. Whether you met Online or someone set you up, that first encounter can make or break your outcome in ways you may not have even considered. Just as first impressions are everything in a job interview, the first date can be instant success or immediate dismay - and much of it you can control with a few simple steps take ahead of time.

1. Who are you? Really?

Are you 45 and posting your photos on the Internet from when you were thirty-some-thing? Back in the days when didn't worry about that touch of gray or those extra 20 pounds? WEll, whether you're a guy or a gal, just how long do you think you can fool your date once you meet in person? I was absolutely shocked when I met a guy for our first date after hooking up on the Net. His photos were incredible! He was fit and absolutely tall, dark, through the nearly empty bar 3 times looking for him, wondering if he'd arrived yet or not, one thing had stood out from our phone conversation... he had said, "My hair is much longer now than in my pictures."

No kidding. I finally walked up to the only man with long hair (a ponytail, actually) and asked him if he was John. He was. All extra 30 pounds and 20 years more than his photos led me to believe he was. I couldn't believe this was even the same man. Need I say more? If he couldn't be honest with me about who he is, what else might yet be up his sleeve? I didn't stick around to find out. And for you gals, while your Glamour Shot may seem downright hot to you, most men I chatted with say they perfer "real" photos. They want to know what you're going to look like even in the morning without your makeup. Most of us can look pretty hot with enough makeup and a stylist ... but who are you really? And truthfully, most guys asked women to please cut back on the makeup ... high maintenance women are a turn-off, they say.

2. Shut up and Listen

Getting to know each other enough during the course of one simple date requires both parties to each take turns listening and speaking. Sometimes folks are so nervous that they either can't seem to say two words, or more commonly, one person vomits information ad nauseum, driving the other one completely nuts. Men, it seems, in the typical job interview, want to be sure they tell a potential employer absolutely everything about themselves, so that nothing is left out.

Women, on the other hand, have learned that to express their interest in men, they should keep asking men questions to show their interest. The result is oftentimes a guy who talks forever, a woman who keeps giving him reason to, and then both parties end up lost at the end of the night as the guy knows almost nothing about the woman and the gal thinks all he wants to do is talk about himeself!

What men might not know is the unwritten rule that women have about taking turns when they talk. One person goes first, talks a while, then turns to the other and asks a specific question to open the dooor for the second gal to talk. Then the first gal intently listens. It's our unwritten rule and it is always confusing to us when men don't demonstrate this common behavior. Equal listening and talking are key to getting to know your date - at least enough to learn if you have anything in common.

3. Sex Talk

Guys - I don't care if you're teasing, flirting, or just trying to break the ice, mentioning anything to do with sex on the first date is suicide, if what you're looking for is a deep, long-term relationship. Now if all you're looking for is a one night stand, then cast your lines out there because the gals who are looking for that will catch it and you can both count on short-term satisfaction and know that neither of you are in it for the bigger picture. Most gals want to get to know you first. The want to know that you like them as a person before you want to get know them intimately. And even if it's just verbal banter, sexual suggestions lead women to thinking that the guy behind it doesn't respect women enough to be in serious consideration.

Likewise - gals - if that kind of conversation keeeps you enthralled, then you're only telling the guy that those are the games you play too. So take your time. Save the sex talk for later. Be a lady and a gentleman. Besides, if you're not on your best behavior now, when will you be?

Make Dating Like Shooping

These are only a few steps to setting the state for a great first date. Of course if you're really turned on by tall, dark, and handsome and you end up with blonde, blue-eyed, and chatty ... I can't help you there. But always remember that dating is like shopping ... gals, you especially know what I mean here. There is not just one perfect little black dress. There are short sleeved, sleeveless, strapless, and silky. We all have something in mind that works for us. But on one says you have to buy the first one that shows up on the rack!

So know what you want, then go shopping. Enjoy the journey. Try many on for size. Remember that one size doesn't fit all. But that there's someone for everyone out there ... just don't blow the first date for the wrong reason!

» Fun Facts About Denver

If there's any doubt in your mind about living in a great city - check these quick facts out!

Denver is the most educated city, with the greatest percentage of high schools and college graduates.

Denver is the nation's baby boomer capital, with one-third of the city between the ages of 35 and 54.

Denver is the thinnest city, with less than 20 percent of the opoulation overweight.

Denver is the most central city, being closer to the exact center of the U.S than any other metropolitan area.

Denver has the tenth busiest airport in the world.

Denver was rated the best city to be single in by Forbes Magazine 2005.

» Happily

Seems like an oxymoron to some; others, can grasp this sentiment. Single and happy... Yes, it does exist! What I want to know is when did we attach the very foundation of our own happiness to our relationship status? Perhaps this is something that has been going on for some time - but I must say, there is no room for it anymore.

Couple-hood or single-hood is not a reflection of who a person is or should be. It is the combining of hearts, souls, desires and expectations - but it doesn't make us who we are and certainly shouldn't define how we live our lives, happily or unhappily.

I have single friends, married friends, friends struggling in a relationship and divorced friends. Not one is different than the other. The only thing that is different is timing and circumstance. Happiness isn't a given just because you find a mate - that i promise you. Happiness is not a guarantee when you have a ring on your finger or a wedding to plan. It isn't meeting Mr. or Ms. RIGHT ... thought, this type of happiness does fill a person momentarily, it does fade.

Happiness is an emotional state of being, a place we have to work at obtaining in our inner and outer worlds - and most definitely shouldn't rest on being single, married, partnered, or departed. It is onloy within us that we can truly cultivate it and make it real - and should never depend on the likes of another human being for our happiness. If we let this happen then we give away too much power - too much control and wonder why we arent's HAPPY?

If you are single - cherish it. Happily single is a great place to be! It is right where you are supposed to be. Trust in the process and love who you are. If you are married or on your way to the altar - don't forget that you have bee happy and that you have been responsible for your happiness. Don't rely on someone else tomake you happy, htat is still and will always be your job. It is an inside job. If you are married - don't forget wha happiness looked like when you met your partner's eyes for the first time - and recommit to being happy - in yourself and in your union.

We are so fortunate to be living in a place where we have choices. I believe that happiness can be a choice and also something we have to work really hard at - and it doesn't come in the form of a new mate. It comes from within and how we live and love and who we surround ourselves with. If the new mate adds to the loveliness, then the luckier we are.

» 4 Signs You're a Rebound

You've met a really nice person and the two of you get along well. But every now and again you feel like they are harboring feelings for the old flame. Is it possible that you're a rebound?

When you look at the big picture, everyone in the dating game is rebounding from something. We’ve all been in love. We’ve all had our heart broken, and conversely, we’ve all broken a heart or two. Fortunately, the old cliché holds true: Time heals all wounds.

However, rather than process the hurt and live with the pain, many people opt for getting back into the game straight away. That means trouble for the rest of us who’ve had time to heal and learn from past mistakes. Rebounders are friendly, enthusiastic. Perhaps they even seem a little too eager to get to know you. Flattered and unknowing, you proceed with the relationship. A new romance blossoms, and eventually you advance to relationship status.

But gradually, signs emerge that maybe you’re significant other isn’t exactly “over” their previous relationship. He wistfully recounts how his ex smelled like fresh orange blossoms and had a smile to brighten up the room. She says with distain that her ex was a philandering, no-good you-know-what.

When the emotion is raw like that, you have to question whether your partner simply has emotional baggage or if they’re harboring deep feelings for their ex. Here’s how to know if you’re dating a rebounder.

1. Your Partner Frequently Walks Down Memory Lane

Everything reminds your new love of his or her ex. Without asking, you are getting the play-by-play of the restaurant that they frequented together or their favorite movie. He loved peanut butter with fried eggs and she always whistled the Star-Spangled Banner when she was nervous. There is quite a difference between discussing your past and obsessing about mundane details.

Eventually this behavior will make you feel second best. If your partner can’t stop perseverating on the past, he or she probably isn’t thinking about your future.

2. Your Partner Can’t Operate Independently

Whether it’s the destination for dinner or a housewarming gift for his or her friend, your date can’t seem to make a decision or complete any task on their own. If your new guy or gal never takes the reins, he or she may not have fully transitioned from coupledom to being an individual. A healthy relationship is fostered by independence, and constantly going along for the ride implies that this connection may not be on your partner’s priority list.

Moreover, if you’re new significant other can’t seem to be without you for any length of time, be wary. Many people who are experiencing intense emotional pain and suffering cope by having someone around them at all times as a distraction.

3. Your Partner has Built an Emotional Wall

You have been tangibly feeling the love (or like) with hand holding, sweet nothings, the works. However, physically doting is only part of the relationship equation. Emotionally, there seems to be something missing. Namely, your date clams up when it comes to sharing feelings, beliefs and the direction of the relationship. This is probably due to the fact that their mind is elsewhere.

Take notice of the creative segues or the change of subject when the conversation turns serious. Trust and vulnerability are required for relationships to succeed, and this rampant self-preservation is a sign that your courter hasn’t fully healed yet.

4. You See Signs of Embitterment

People who haven’t been able to process a breakup usually can’t see a past relationship—good or bad—for what it was: a learning experience. Instead, he or she was just plain done wrong. His or her good mood darkens when talking about the opposite sex and generalizations begin to emerge: “All women are gold diggers” or “Men are just users”, just to name a few.

Obviously, your new sweetheart has been hurt and still carries some serious hang-ups. Sure, a broken heart takes time to heal. But if your date still has reservations about your integrity or the likelihood that you will do him or her wrong, then your guy or gal isn’t ready to be with the wonderful you.

What to do Next

Of course, there is no magic equation or definitive set of rules about dating a rebounder. Some people just need that extra incentive of better days that only a new relationship can provide. However, if his or her rebounding qualities start to make you feel second rate, it’s time to pull the plug.

Try not to take a rebounder’s maneuvers personally, and initiate a heartfelt conversation about your concerns. If you have ever been heartbroken, you know that time and sensitivity may be the only devices that can help a rebounder move on. Consider your own feelings and investment in this new relationship before going on an emotional ride with someone who may not be ready yet.

» The Secrets of True Romance

Lighting Candles + Dimming the Lights + Marvin Gaye = Romance. Right? Wrong. We have the secrets to true romance.

So you’ve bought her roses, champagne, chocolates and jewelry, and she still says you’re not a romantic. So why? Well, while you’ve been living out a Hallmark moment, she’s been waiting for real signs of romance, and they can’t be found at your local mall.

The good news is, to truly be a romantic doesn’t have to cost you a dime. The bad? It’ll cost you your time – only it will be worth every minute. Here are six ways to show her that you’ve got what it takes.

Listen

Up there with “strange noises” and “unusual smells,” a woman’s biggest complaint about her partner is that he just doesn’t listen to what she has to say. Whether she’s had a difficult day at the office, is having trouble with her best friend or just wants to talk about a TV show she enjoyed, all she wants is for you to make the appropriate gestures so she knows you’re engaged with the topic.

So turn the Tivo off, unplug your iPod, put down the sports pages and tune in to your girl. Ask for more details, remember the names of her work colleagues and try and come up with some helpful suggestions and observations of your own. Get genuinely engaged with her world, because good communication leads to intimacy.

Cook

While a romantic dinner at a fine restaurant is always a nice treat, combining a good meal with more of an effort on your part is even tastier. Anyone can pick up the phone and make a reservation, but how many men will shop for ingredients, plan a meal and cook it from scratch while their partners put their feet up?

If you need recipe ideas, you can check online at sites like epicurious.com and cooks.com. If you’re not an expert, start slow and easy – it’s the gesture that counts as much as, if not more than, the food. Add some wine and candles, and Don Quixote will start looking like a slacker by comparison. They say certain foods are aphrodisiac: a home-cooked meal from a loving partner makes it twice as sexy.

E-Mail

Getting a horse-drawn carriage to transport a handwritten letter penned in your best calligraphic hand is clearly a thing of the past. And while many believe its replacements – emails and text messages – have taken away the art and intimacy of communication, their immediacy brings many advantages.

So if you know your girlfriend is having, say, an important meeting at midday, an email telling her you’re thinking of her at 11:50 will really give her a boost. Text her a quick “good luck” moments before, say, a dental appointment. Even if she has nothing important going on that day, an instant “just thinking of you” or “I love you” will really hit the spot. The point is, let her know that she’s present in your mind, even when work and life is keeping you apart.

Surprise!

In our busy lives it’s easy to fall into a routine, but little kills off romance more than predictability. This is why you have to bring a few surprises to the party, and again it doesn’t have to be anything too grand – though if a new Mercedes is in your budget, it’s not going to hurt.

If you know she’s had a stressful day, just run her a bath for when she gets home, and maybe offer a shoulder rub. If she hasn’t seen her close friends for a while, why not arrange a mini surprise party at home or at a local bar? If you’ve had no time to get out and see a show or a movie, try renting one of her favorites to enjoy at home.

And if you really want to impress her, why not put those shelves together that have been lying around for a few months – BEFORE she asks again?

Whatever it is that you know will float her boat, do it for her when she least expects it.

Traditions

Old-fashioned manners may have disappeared along with hats and suspenders, but a nod to the golden years can go a long way in these fast-paced times. So yes, most cars have a controller that will pop the locks open, but why not open the car door for her? Similarly, open the heavy doors to a department store and let her step inside first, and pull her chair from the table before settling down for a meal. And once at the table, notice how she’s done her hair, or her new shirt, or simply tell her how she’s looking beautiful.

Sometimes it’s the simplest gestures that go the furthest and mean the most.

Snuggle

It’s no secret that men like to snuggle too, but often it’s a sign that they’re ready for something a little…stronger. However, physical intimacy is about a lot more than just sex, and you can show that you love her physically without making love to her. It could be something as simple as holding hands, and while her hand’s in yours, give it an occasional squeeze or gently stroke her palm with your thumb. If you’re watching TV at home together, cuddle up on the sofa. If her hair’s mussed up, softly pat it down. When you walk into a room, put your hand on the small of her back.

They’re tiny gestures, but together they show that you’re connecting, that you’re truly together and that you care, and that deep down you’re the romantic she’d love you to be.

» 5 Methods for Getting Over Your Ex

Heartbreak is never fun, but deal with your feelings in a positive way and you'll never look back on what once was.

Living with the memory of your ex can be a pretty painful and frustrating thing to deal with. Unfortunately, there is no magical pill or potion that can help you feel whole and normal again after you’ve experienced a painful breakup.

Time is the only thing that will heal you completely, but there are some things you can do to speed the process along. If you’re searching high and low for ways to get over your ex, check out the five tips below for some helpful ideas.

1. Acceptance

It can be really hard to accept that you’ve lost someone you love. However, acceptance is the first step to really healing the pain that you’re feeling. Do you still call your ex, drive by his or her house, write letters or initiate contact in other ways? These types of behavior will not allow you to accept and heal the way you need to. Stop contacting your ex and make a conscious decision to move on with your own life. When it gets really tough for you to accept that you and your ex are over, never underestimate the power of ‘moving on’ songs and chocolate ice cream.

2. Call Up the Girls or Guys

Another thing that can really help you get over your ex is getting back into your social circles. Call up your friends and make plans with them – even if you don’t feel like going. This will give you a chance to catch up on the important gossip, laugh a little bit and feel a little more normal. Friends can be a really amazing source of support when you’re feeling terrible. You can also go over the details of the relationship and breakup as much as you want without having to pay an hourly fee – feedback and opinions are included.

3. Work on Improving Yourself

When you’re feeling lower than low, one of the greatest things you can do is work on improving yourself. Start a new, healthful diet to feel better about your health. Take a few classes at your local community college where you can meet new people and broaden your horizons. Go on a trip. Do things that make you feel better about yourself. Being proactive is a great way to speed up the healing and gain new self-esteem and confidence.

4. Find a Passion

Creative outlets are underrated. Try different types of art such as painting, writing, photography or something similar. This will allow you to express yourself on a deeper level, which is really great for your emotional health. You might even discover that you have a hidden talent! Participating in art calms the body and mind, allowing you to reduce the stress, frustration and pain that you’re feeling now.

5. Keep Your Sense of Humor

If you can’t laugh at yourself and your situation, you’re doomed! While heartache is not a funny subject, finding humor in the midst of all that pain is very healing. Realizing the silly mistakes you make sometimes or the hilarious situations that you get yourself into are great ways of finding the humor in your situation. Laughter is very healing and allows us hope and a sense of well-being that we need in order to move on with a happy, healthy life.

While heartache is a terrible thing to suffer through, it will get better. By utilizing the five tips above, you can feel better, take control of your life and move on!

» 9 Signs You've Met "The One"

The person you’re dating is funny, kind and all around a good person. But is he or she "The One"? eHarmony Advice has what you need to find out.

Can you ever really know whether you’ve met “the one”? Unfortunately, there isn’t a foolproof litmus test, but you can be fairly confident in your relationship if you notice these nine signs that are characteristic of a really special connection between two people.

1) You’re Not Chasing the Relationship’s Potential

Many people have romantic relationships fraught with obstacles. On a basic level, the relationship is satisfactory, but there always seems to be something standing in the way of true happiness: a stressful job, an annoying ex, a distasteful habit. Both people feel that once the obstacle is removed, they’ll be truly content together.

Unfortunately, relationships don’t work that way. Once the problem is resolved, another one pops up. And—surprise!—the couple is still unhappy.

What people may not realize is that if they are waiting for true happiness in their relationship, then they are in the wrong relationship. Landing a better job may make life easier financially, but no amount of money will help two people who just aren’t a good fit for each other.

The truth is, a happy, well-adjusted couple doesn’t have to chase what could be or should be. A good relationship just is.

2) Who You Are Is Good Enough

You know you’ve met the one when your partner loves you for who you are. We know it sounds pretty cliché, but like all clichés, it’s true. “The One’s” admiration of you is so powerful that it’s almost as if he or she is awestruck by your very presence. He takes great pride in the choices you’ve made. She finds you smart, sexy, fun to be with, and so on. You never have to try to impress “The One” because you’ve already done that by just being you.

3) You Manage Conflict Well

Let’s say we have two couples that have been together for the same amount of time. Couple A fights regularly. Couple B has never argued in the history of their relationship. Which couple do you think a relationship counselor would say is at greater risk?

That’s right: Couple B. Upon closer examination, you’ll find that someone in the relationship—perhaps both parties—isn’t being forthcoming. Someone’s needs and wants aren’t being voiced and therefore aren’t being addressed.

Couple A, on the other hand, makes it a point to bring up topics that are bothersome or dissatisfying within the relationship. This couple regularly engages in respectful, healthy conflict—without insults or throwing things—and comes out the other side a stronger couple that gains a deeper understanding of one another with each conflict they resolve together. How much a couple fights isn’t the issue, unless they don’t fight at all. It’s how a couple manages conflicts that determines how well the relationship works.

4) The Mundane Is Suddenly Interesting

If you’re spending time with someone who really is “The One,” then you probably want to pay attention to even the smallest details of his or her life. Specifics from his work interest you, stories about his childhood hold your attention, and even old photos or home movies fascinate you.

When this happens, then this person is likely much more to you than a ship passing in the night.

5) There’s Minimal Drama—or None at All

Like we said above when we talked about conflict, even the healthiest relationships deal with their share of arguments. So when we say that there’s not a lot of drama in your relationship, we don’t mean that the two of you never fight.

But when you do, you do your best to fight fair. You admit when you’re wrong, you listen to each other, you acknowledge one another’s good points, and you apologize when you cross lines. It’s not that you have to be perfect, but if this person is “The One,” then you are at least trying to make your conflict work for your relationship rather than against it.

So if you two are dealing with constant drama, where one of you is trying to create high emotions to manipulate the other or where there’s constant turbulence without some sort of resolution, then be careful about fully committing to the relationship at this point. High drama is a definite red flag when it comes to long-term relationship success.

6) Your Friends and Family See What You See

If the people who love you the most are begging you to get away from someone, then that person’s probably not the one for you. On the other hand, if the people you trust also see what you see in this person and encourage the relationship, then that’s a good sign that you two may belong together.

Of course, sometimes your friends and family may choose someone for you whom you haven’t chosen. They may push for a relationship that you have no interest in pursuing. In these cases, it’s not always wise to follow their advice.

But if you’re falling in love with someone whom the people in your life want you to be with, then there’s a good chance that this may be the real deal.

7) You Know How to Make Them Happy

When there’s a deep connection between two people, they each know what the other wants and needs. So ask yourself this question about the person in your life: Do you know what it takes to make him or her happy? Think about minor, moment-by-moment issues, like where that person likes to eat and what kind of back rub he or she enjoys.

Additionally, think about larger matters as well: Do you know how to help her relieve stress? Can you get her to talk about her dreams and visions for the future? When she’s struggling at work or with a family issue, can you help her come through the storm and find the sun again? And, just as important, does your partner know how to do this for you as well? If so, that’s another reason to believe that you’ve found “The One.”

8) You Have the Same Life Priorities

Opposites may attract, but they rarely make for a good long-term relationship. Compatibility really is key when it comes to creating a deep and lasting connection between two people.

For example, if you want to begin preparing for the future and building toward certain life and career goals, but your partner mainly wants to make enough money so that he or she can party this weekend, then you two are probably working with fairly different priorities.

And the opposite it is true, too: If your priorities match up well, then you two have a much better chance of long-term happiness and fulfillment together.

9) You Respect the Person Deeply

Mutual respect is crucial for a healthy relationship. Without that respect, there’s simply no way to create and build a secure foundation so that you can enjoy all of the benefits of a deep and strong relationship.

But when you respect your partner and he or she respects you, the relationship has a strong chance at thriving, and all the aspects of your connection blossom. The communication improves. The commitment deepens. The trust multiplies. The satisfaction level goes through the roof.

And that all begins with a mutual respect that emerges because you like each other and because you appreciate the way you live your individual lives.

So as you try to figure out whether you’ve found “The One,” take a look at this list. If you can check off each of the above items, then you owe it to yourself to allow the relationship to become all that it can possibly be.

» My Friends and Family Hate My Significant Other

You're happy with your mate, but your friends and family are less than thrilled. Should you ignore them or ditch your significant other?



What happens when you feel that you have found the right significant other and your friends and family hate him or her? Or, if hate is too strong, they thoroughly dislike him or her. Don’t pull your hair out! And, don’t let their negative opinions make you act hastily in the face of this dilemma.

The Critics may be Entirely Wrong

The naysayers certainly don’t know your boyfriend or girlfriend as well as you do. Or, they could have an agenda in mind. Perhaps they may not know you and your desires as well as they think.

1) Talk to them in an open and plain manner. Ask them what they think your boyfriend’s weaknesses are. What do they dislike or fear? In most cases, their objection to the person doesn’t deal with major issues. Generally, it is just a feeling they have about him. When you sincerely ask them to answer your questions, they will usually not be able to clearly express why they hate the person. Upon serious reflection, they might change their minds.

2) Ask them what they think would happen to you if your relationship led to marriage. This way, they may reveal an agenda that you can disregard.

3) Ask them what they think you want in a relationship. When you force them to delve into this aspect of your supposed needs, you will find out exactly what they think of you. Surprise! They may discover that you two are a good fit after all.

But…Maybe the Critics Aren’t Wrong

As the saying goes, love is blind. If they aren’t wrong, you will want to know those aspects of his character that cause such a strong reaction in your family and friends. You may be completely unaware of his or her shortcomings.

1) The days of arranged marriages and dowries have faded into history. But, twenty-first century parents still want to be involved with their kids’ life choices. They respect your independence, but they want to protect you…sometimes from yourself and your rose-colored glasses.

2) They want to know: Is your significant other good to you? Does he or she have an abusive streak? Does he or she have little respect for you and your family and friends? If the answer is yes, it would be smart to listen to the critics.

3) If, on the other hand, your parents are more concerned about your significant other’s station in life, or his future plans, you may want to let the criticism roll off your back. What counts is that you love the person and accept how he lives his life. The may not admit it, but your parents may have been in a similar position with your grandparents when they were young.

Or, your friends Might just be Jealous

Friends, especially singles, might just wish they were in your shoes, believe it or not. Perhaps they are having a hard time accepting your good fortune in contrast to their bad luck in boyfriends. So, they might try to find fault with your relationship in order to make themselves feel better.

1) Let them know that their opinions are important and you appreciate their concern.

2) Tell them your relationship might not be perfect, but you are genuinely happy.

3) Wish them well in their quest to find the ideal mate Above all, be thoughtful and come to terms with your own decision.

» Tips for Breaking that Dating Dry Spell

Does it feel like centuries since you’ve experienced those fabulous first-date butterflies? If you are in the midst of a dry spell that rivals L.A.’s most severe drought, we’re ready to quench your thirst and bring you back into the dating mix with these tips!

Practice Self-Love

This is key advice for us all. The more time you invest in your own happiness and well-being – whether it’s reading self-help books, meditating or reciting mantras – the more others will be drawn to your positive energy. Incorporate self-love practices into your daily life, and try to be grateful for all the people, places and things that surround you. Let go of disappointments, try to see problems as opportunities for growth and trust that the universe will take care of the rest. Positive thinking really does equal positive results.

Make the Friend Connection

Your new love could be within just two degrees of separation. Don’t be afraid to tell your pals that you are ready to revisit the dating scene (they probably are more aware of this fact than you know!). Let the people close to you help out by setting up a dinner party or casual barbecue with some contenders whom they feel may be a possible love connection.

Play Fetch With Fido

Pets are not only great for companionship, but they’re also a wonderful way to meet new friends at the park. Dogs are people magnets and conversation starters, and they’ll also increase your awareness profile around the neighborhood.

Ready, Set, Run!

Your local workout facility is a fantastic place to meet new, health-conscious friends and possibly even that special someone. Whether it’s in spinning class or during yoga, familiar faces help open the door to conversation and maybe more. Namaste!

Meet at the Market

Chance encounters often occur while browsing through the produce section. Your local grocery store is not only a casual atmosphere but a fairly easy place to start up conversation, whether it’s about favorite salad dressings or whether an avocado is ready for transformation into guacamole. Plus, peeking into someone’s cart can give you a good sense of what they’re about.

Greet the Locals

Get to know what neighborhood haunts people are frequenting. The corner bakery, café or coffeehouse can provide good java and be a recipe for romance as well. Church is another avenue for connecting with those who hold similar beliefs and values.

Go Clubbing

No, not the Night at the Roxbury, Will Ferrell kind of clubs. Look for classy spots or cool jazz lounges where mature adults usually go to socialize and unwind. Tip: Bring a few friends if you are a bit bashful.

The moral of this dating advice story: Put some effort into yourself and a little energy into the outside world, and you’ll be surprised by who may be right around the corner!